To Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

There were many times that you criticized me for standing in front of the mirror for over 10 minutes;

There were many times that you dragged me up from comfortable bed in the very early mornings during summer vacations, claiming that “don’t waste your time!”

There were many times that you forced me to eat the food I didn’t enjoy such as jujube, onion and yellow bean;

There were endless nights that you accompanied with me for practicing piano when my friends were watching animations, even when I told you I wanted to give up;

There were many times that I felt you paid too much attention to details especially when I talked about some guys at school;

There were many times that I felt you talked too much and you didn’t understand what I was thinking;

However –

Because of you, I am a morning person now and enjoy every bit of sunshine;

Because of you, I continued playing piano and cultivated a mindset for appreciating every detail of beauty in my life;

Because of you, I love jujube, onion and yellow bean and realized later that those are very healthy food;

I understand you now because I can almost see a talkative and super detail-oriented me when I become a mother.

I know if every time I could have said “Sorry Mom” you would immediately stop criticizing me, but that strong personality never allowed me to say this - what a stupid girl.

I never saw you cry until I was boarding on the plane to college, to Hong Kong and to US.

You are very strict on buying things to me (cosmetic products, clothes etc.) but you never cared about spending $30 on a 45 minutes piano class;

You have a Walmart VIP card that you could have bought many things for yourself but you only used it when I went back to hometown;

I have promised many times that I wanted to travel with you in Europe but I always don’t have time – internship, job search, projects, assignment…… I talked to you every night when I just came to US and now the frequency has reduced to 2 times a week – internship, job search, projects, assignments…..And I never think about if I stay in US and I went back to China once a year, how many more days I can spend with you.

In this special festival, I can only book boutiques online to send my wishes for you. And I know that’s not the return what you are expecting from me – a phone call and some more pictures will be super enough.

All I want to do is to be a better me and make you a proud mother – Happy Mothers’ Day dear Mom. 

Love,

Lingling